Still Waiting

Saturday, May 31, 2008

You with the sad eyes

Don't be discouraged

Oh I realize

It's hard to take courage

In a world full of people

You can lose sight of it all

And the darkness inside you

Can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors

True colors are beautiful,

Like a rainbow

Show me a smile then,

Don't be unhappy, can't remember

When I last saw you laughing

If this world makes you crazy

And you've taken all you can bear

You call me up

Because you know I'll be there

And I see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors

True colors are beautiful,

Like a rainbow

If this world makes you crazy

And you've taken all you can bear

You call me up

Because you know I'll be there

And I see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors

True colors

True colors are shining through

I see your true colors

And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors

True colors are beautiful,

Like a rainbow...

-when are you coming back? ;

This should have posted long ago~ sorry sisters!
celebrating kelly's 21st bday!
i know.. i am lag.. almost at month end den i post what had happened during starting of the month..
well. i miss u, guys!

i kinda miss. myself.
where have u been?

-when are you coming back? ;

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

i don't know what i want.
or...
is it, i do not dare to take what i want.

in a relationship, i wish to be less greedy and be contented with what i have, because i scare that i could not find a better one, and end of getting married, just because i need to or maybe just because the time is right.

i don't like my job i am too lazy, less motivated, no passion, because i have to do cold calling, memorise script, scare that i sell the wrong thing, that my team can't do and my team leader just constantly keep reminding me that i have not hit my target for june.! i am so tense up in my work tat, if any moment i felt free and nothing to do, i will have a hugh sense of gulity because, i am not doing any cold calling. but if i did, and i manage to get an appointment. my team leader will ask me, if it is necessary to go down for that appointment, if they are not doing their camp this year.?
having too many appointment, is bad.
having too little appointment, is also bad.
den, what?
and worse of all...
i am stuck in this situation, where i think my office ppl, think that i and this guy colleague of mine, are TOGETHER??!!!! OOOOMMMMGGGGG!!
i mean, yes----- we do click well, in the sense of the topic we talk. and we don't like the office culture and some of the office staff... we find that some of the ppl are very FAKE. behind their friendly smile.... and because we are the same character ppl... we are both high C. i mean in term of DISC profiling... and one more thing. yes. he eat lolly pop..
but the thing is, HE is YOUNGER den me. and moreover, he has a GF! which i think they are getting marry soon. and the thing why we are close enough... his gf is 33 years old... ya... it is the same age as Mr. M...
we have similar topics to talk about...
fren, YES. together? NO!
and the worst of all...
he don't click well with the rest of his team! so, he usually stick around with me. and my team leader actually come and tell me, to stay away from him?!!. because, alot of ppl, ask her, are me and him together????! hai~~~~~~~
but the thing is, i don't mind sticking around with him... but with my reputation at stake, and for future sake of continue to stay in the office... i have to STAY AWAY from him... so poor thing lor... and i also cannot take it myself... for having such behaviour...
so today, i have to go to a school appointment with him, because we are suppose to do blended solution for the client. then when i reach office, we have to discuss in detail on, what are we intending to propose to the teacher. therefore, we need to talk together... and i can feel ppl staring at us.... wahhhh laauuuu ehh..... bu tan han ar!!!!!!
stupid ppl.... they don't trust us at all... can we at least being treated as a adult please!
but i cannot confront them too... because they will give us this face, that say, "no. we nv felt that. you mistaken us. you are over sensetive." just feel like giving each of them, one tight slap!

i just don't feel like putting effort in this job anymore.
i hold on, because there is this "ego & self esteem" thingy going on in my heart. i find that, because this job, i need to wear presentable office wear, MUST BE cover HEELs. and in the office, everybody is prefer to speak english. people will keep correcting your mistake. it is good in some way. but it just... too bored for me...
i don't have the passion for the job.. but if you ask me, what do i want to work.?
i don't know....

i realised that, finding job is like finding husband...
i must find the right one, and should not waste my time anymore. i just want to stick to ONE!
i just want, a place, where, i can grow. i can feel happiness. i can feel a sense of belonging. i have the passion and drive to overcome down period. and lastly, stablility and security and trust between company and me for long long term.

in fact. it is the same, as finding the right guy.

i want to quit my job...

after so many negotiation... i and mr. m start to talk again... i though. i am happy. once i start to talk to him and be normal again.

but i realised i am not..

i just want to stay in those "white room" where there are no door. no window. but cushion flooring.
i know it look like those mental illness room...
but i just want to stay ther..
no need to many any choices...
because i am afraid of making mistakes...

hopelessly perfectionist...

-when are you coming back? ;

Monday, May 5, 2008

Hi there~
back back back from bkk...

well... i can say that, yes. indeed, it is NOT what i expect it to be.
but yes... there are times, where i will be left out. unless i take the intiative to talk to them.
but overall, it was cool.

this is not a retreat. this is a shopping trip!
we only have company meeting half day, and the rest of the 4day 3 night. it was like madness!
shopping shopping and endless of shopping.!

i bought a pair of 3 quarter jeans, 1 polo t, 1 miss bossy t shirt, 1 working top, 12 pair of ear rings, 1 pair of working shoes, 1 pair of slippers, some snacks, 3 pair of sunglasses... i know that is so terrible.. 3 pair... but anyway, when i came back, 1 spoilt. well... so i left with 2 now.
but anyway, tat about it la.. not alot. hmm... really. not alot. compare to my other colleagues.
hahaa..
den the rest, spent on massages and manicure and pedicure.

anyway, must thanks ade for providing me, the necessary information.. and places to shop around. really useful. thank ar. BBK PRO SHOPPING QUEEN!

well... just touch down sin, and i went out again.
and today, i am super tired...
need my rest now.!

anyway.!
Happy birthday KELLY!
i know.. its 1 day early.
hahaaaa...

-when are you coming back? ;